


Her Love

by willows_shame



Series: Peaks and Mountains [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, F/F, I'm Bad At Tagging, Love, i don't really have any more?, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28815903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willows_shame/pseuds/willows_shame
Summary: "Suddenly she was imagining that smirk in other situations, so much closer to her, as Yellow reminisced with her about something unimportant, her hand in Blue’s, her body pressed against her.What?What—was that?What could it mean?She was close to Yellow, of course, as close as to Pink and White, but this was entirely new. This was confusing, and, if Blue was honest, frightening. It felt…not wrong, but somehow forbidden.But it felt…warm.It felt good."Blue Diamond's pearl doesn't know many other pearls. But she loves this one.
Relationships: Blue Diamond's Pearl/Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe)
Series: Peaks and Mountains [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955239
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Her Love

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii
> 
> once again it has been much longer than i meant it to be...
> 
> at the beginning of this i was planning on posting one installment of this series each week, but uh, like i said before i got a bit scared by the comments. but i've regained my courage! i'm gonna post the rest of the series (this one, and two more) as soon as i have them proofread. that might be a while, but hopefully not as long as last time...
> 
> as always, if peeps think that the tags need some beefing up and/or i should put some more warnings/etc. up, plz let me know :)
> 
> disclaimer: i don't own and didn't make any of these characters or places. they all belong to rebecca sugar and the rest of the su crew.
> 
> happy reading!  
> \- willows_shame

Blue did not know many pearls.

In truth, there were only three other pearls she regularly saw, even (though rarely) interacted with. These were White, Pink, and Yellow. They would stand quietly off to the side when their owners met, and though they were expected to be silent, at times they would be sent out of the room when those things discussed were of particular importance, and during these times they would talk quietly.

In the beginning, Pink was always the most energetic. She was like her diamond in that respect; Blue always worried that Pink Diamond was too lenient with her pearl, and in the end, Pink would be punished for it. She shared this worry quietly with Yellow, when their diamonds had sent them away and the two pearls stood side by side in front of the door, and Yellow calmed her, saying flippantly that the diamonds in turn were lenient with Pink’s diamond, and they needn’t worry.

And so they didn’t.

And instead of worry about Pink, Blue found her thoughts occupied with a different gem as the pearls stood by their masters’ sides.

In some ways, gems of the same type and cut were exactly the same. Some gems—pearls, zircons, and others of the like—would vary in color, though their size and shape remained identical. Others were nearly impossible to tell apart, other than gem placement. With diamond-ordained uniforms and squadron-like placement even for non-military gems, Homeworld was a carefully woven cloth with nary a bump nor knot. Should a deformity, a defect, be discovered, it was quickly eradicated.

And yet…

Gems were individuals, in some way. They all lived to serve their diamonds, they all were made for one purpose and one purpose only, but gems did have free time. They did have likes and dislikes. They were not mute, dumb machines, they were alive, they were unique.

Except for pearls, most gems thought. Blue herself, in some ways, considered herself to be the same as her three companions, as the millions of other pearls in servitude on and off Homeworld. But then again—Pink was giggly, White was curious, Yellow was proud. She herself—well, she didn’t truly know how to examine herself as she did the others. She was quiet. She liked to draw. She was unique, as were the other three.

Perhaps that was why she was so drawn to Yellow, in this strange and somewhat frightening way that was so different from her feelings towards White and Pink.

She noticed it for the first time when, one cycle, their diamonds were meeting with a lower (though still high-caste) gem, and Yellow’s diamond was tearing into the gem with abandon. Yellow herself had allowed only the tiniest expression on her face, but to Blue, who knew Yellow better than she knew herself, better than she knew anyone but White and Pink, the smirk was as a shout.

And suddenly Blue’s face felt hot.

Suddenly she was imagining that smirk in other situations, so much closer to her, as Yellow reminisced with her about something unimportant, her hand in Blue’s, her body pressed against her.

_What?_

What—was that?

What could it mean?

She was close to Yellow, of course, as close as to Pink and White, but this was entirely new. This was confusing, and, if Blue was honest, frightening. It felt…not wrong, but somehow forbidden.

But it felt…warm.

It felt good.

Blue kept it to herself for nearly one hundred orbits, during which time nothing in particular seemed to change, except for the deepening of Blue’s feelings, and the greater understanding with which she felt them. Over time, as she continued her service under her diamond, she learned about the intermingling of gems, about the words that could be used to describe the warmth that bloomed in her gem when she thought of Yellow.

Affection.

Want.

Love.

And with these labels, Blue calmed, accepted, and observed, because she was reasonably certain her feelings were returned.

She knew Yellow watched her. One of many advantages to the long bangs her diamond preferred she wear was that she could watch without notice, allow her eyes to be as expressive of her boredom, disapproval, happiness, as she wished. And so she watched Yellow, and saw that Yellow watched her. She knew, too, that Yellow’s words and tone towards her were different than that turned towards others—having known Yellow for so long, so well, having seen Yellow respond to her diamond and speak to White and Pink, Blue recognized the hint of softness in her voice, especially once she began to search for it.

And so, one cycle when they stood outside Blue Diamond’s door, Blue cast a look sidelong at Yellow, and said with a small smile, “You look beautiful.”

Yellow stood impossibly straighter, her cheeks turning an instant and deep shade of gold, and her jaw dropped in shock for a moment before she began to babble. “I—well—I’m not—I’m simply the, the same as…” She continued in this terribly endearing vein for another moment or so, and then finally blurted, “Not as beautiful as you.”

And Blue, despite not being very surprised by the returned compliment, found herself blushing too, and her smile widened just a touch. “Thank you,” she said.

And so began an orbit of compliments, careful, stolen touches, and smiles that lingered on Blue’s lips even when her diamond’s tears flowed from her eyes.

It was warm. It was joyful. It was most certainly forbidden, but also certainly unseen, because their diamonds were near each other so often that was it any wonder their pearls were as well? Sometimes they’d manage to slip away, when they’d been given an order to fetch some thing or other, and would steal a few moments together during which they’d wedge themselves into a nook in the pearl tunnels, whispering, smiling.

It was Yellow who kissed her first.

Nearly an orbit after that first unprompted compliment, they were in what had quickly become _their_ nook, talking, and Blue was teasing Yellow as she was wont to do—Blue was quiet, yes, but she was clever, and one of her favorite pastimes was using her cleverness to bring that golden burn to Yellow’s cheeks. But Yellow had apparently had enough, because she slipped her hands against Blue’s jaw, under her hair, her fingers wrapping behind her skull, and kissed her.

Oh, did she kiss her.

When they separated, Blue, for once, had nothing to say. She merely stared at Yellow, lips parted, and Yellow gave her a transparent, smug smile, behind which Blue could see her love, her nerves, her warmth. So as Yellow opened her mouth, ready to say something that surely didn’t matter as much as the feeling of her lips on Blue’s, Blue surged forward, and kissed her again.

And everything changed once again.

They found yet more moments to get away, created little, subtle ways to acknowledge the other even when they stood placidly behind their diamonds, and Blue wondered if there was anything that could make her happier than Yellow did. She doubted it, when Yellow trailed her fingers across Blue’s arm or waist, or when Yellow’s small smile cut into her gem with the ease of a lapis lazuli’s slice of water through stone. When they were separated, due to one diamond or another being off-planet, it was all Blue could do to focus on her diamond’s orders instead of letting her mind linger on thoughts of Yellow. Was this what other gems felt, she wondered? Was this normal?

If it was not, she for once felt sorry for other, greater gems, because this comfort was wonderful.

Neither of them were foolish; they knew that while this sort of relation between gems was not unheard of, it certainly was unthinkable between pearls. They knew that they could be punished, rejuvenated, shattered and processed, if they were discovered.

They knew, also, that they were lucky.

Blue did not know many pearls. But that did not mean she did not see many pearls.

Gems would come in front of her diamond accompanied by their servants, and Blue would watch them through her bangs, examining their posture (identical to hers), their coloration (always different), their every minute facial expression. Rarely, Blue would see pearls in other places, when she’d been sent by her diamond on some sort of errand, or when her diamond left the palace on infrequent excursions. That is when she would see the true life of a pearl who had not the privilege/curse of belonging to one of the shining diamonds.

Some gems would strike their pearls at any sign, imagined or not, of disobedience. Some pearls would be ordered to carry out impossible tasks for the amusement of their owners. Some owners would wrap their arms around their pearls, slide their hands between their legs, and laugh.

Yellow admitted that she saw these things too—“We’re lucky,” she said. “We’re untouchable.”

Blue nodded, but she thought of endless tears, of repetition, of constant work, of a tiny, _tiny_ margin of error. “We’re different,” she said.

But in some ways, they were not different.

The first time Yellow slipped her arms around Blue, slid her hands down, touched her in that place that had never been touched, Blue felt as if she saw some bright light that illuminated her whole world. She gasped, threw her head back onto Yellow’s shoulder, reached one hand up and wound it into Yellow’s hair, felt an uncontrollable moan bubble out of her throat. How, she wondered, did her fellow pearls stay silent when their owners touched them like this?

Except, of course, it was not like this. _This_ was Yellow. _This_ was her love.

This was _everything_.

* * *

Blue’s cycles were spent following her diamond’s orders and finding ways to spend time with Yellow. As often as they could, they would hide themselves away in their nook, talk, kiss, and, more and more frequently, bring each other to their peaks. Blue’s life, while never as easy as a high gem, never as fearless, was good. She was content in her role, happy when with Yellow. She was vaguely aware, of course, of Pink Diamond’s ever louder demands for a colony, but how could she focus on that when her love was beside her?

Of course, her focus was snapped back, forced back, when White and Pink switched places.

None of them were present for the terrible moment. Blue was never told what happened, to make Pink’s eye blank and shattered, to make the diamonds choose to rejuvenate White and turn Pink into a terrifying puppet. All she knew was that one day two of her friends had suddenly disappeared, replaced by blank slates, only one of which would be given the opportunity to draw itself over again.

The diamonds were frazzled—as frazzled as such perfect beings could get. It was almost easy, this time, for Blue and Yellow to slip away. “What happened?” Yellow asked as soon as they were safely in their nook, her eyes searching Blue’s face as if she’d have the answer.

Blue shook her head. Her gem ached. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know.”

White changed, with the youngest of the diamonds as her master instead of the eldest. She was curious as ever, but with Pink Diamond and her leniency behind her, that curiosity spread much further than it had with White Diamond.

And Pink…

It was painful, to see that painted on smile. Every time. Blue thought it would get easier, but no, the pain was just as great, the discomfort only growing, and whenever they were near the pearl Blue almost wished for her own diamond to cry. “Poor Pink,” she said one cycle, when the pearls had been sent out of a meeting but Pink was to stay behind because she was no longer herself, could do only what White Diamond willed.

“Was I like that?” White asked.

No, Blue wanted to say. No, thank the diamonds, thank the stars. You were yourself, you were you but less, you were…

The words caught in her throat with the swell of grief.

“No.” Yellow spoke for her. “You were yourself.” She shifted a foot minutely, the tiniest of sharp smiles on her face. “Though you’re changing, too, White.”

White bit her lip, face more openly worried than any other pearl would ever allow, more worried than it had ever been before her rejuvenation. “Am I?”

Blue found her voice. “It’s good,” she said, smiling through the change and pain. “Your diamond is kind.”

White’s diamond was kind, yes; but Blue had the suspicion that Pink’s change was in some way because of Pink Diamond. The word “fault” never crossed her mind, of course. The diamonds were faultless. But every gem in the palace had been witness to Pink Diamond’s screaming tantrums, the destruction that often followed. Had Pink been too close? Had she been caught up in that terrifying rage?

Would White be?

But, strangely, in the cycles and then orbits after the swap and great change, Blue never heard Pink Diamond scream in anger. When she asked Yellow, the other pearl admitted to the same. Perhaps she’d changed, finally matured like Blue’s and Yellow’s diamonds hoped?

Perhaps that was why, two hundred and seventeen orbits after White became Pink Diamond’s pearl, Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond gifted Pink Diamond her first colony. White’s diamond, of course, began planning a ball—she was not fully matured yet. She was still enamored with the music, the dancing. Blue knew her diamond found it sweet, endearing, but she wondered how much longer Pink Diamond would have before the other diamonds insist she be more like them.

Blue wondered, sometimes, why Pink Diamond was smaller than the others. She never allowed herself to linger on it for too long, though. Pearls needed not think of such things.

She was, however, considering it during the ball, as the four diamonds’ pearls stood perfectly still behind their masters’ thrones. Was her size the reason Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond were hesitant to grant her a colony? Did they fear for her safety? That would make no sense, in the world of gems—diamonds were perfect, untouchable. Was it simply the immaturity, the tantrums, the childish joy?

Arms around her broke into her thought, and she knew in an instant that this was not Yellow, because Yellow would never dare, because this was rough where Yellow was soft, because these arms were thick, red, muscled, because the laughter by her ear was cruel. “Let go!” her love’s voice rang out, and Blue turned her head to see an amethyst with her arms in turn around Yellow, saw the amethyst slap Yellow hard enough across the face that the pearl’s head snapped violently to the side.

“Pearls are to be seen and not heard,” the amethyst said, almost purring the words, and Blue felt a rage so great rise up in her that her gem felt hot and it was almost letting off a glow and she could barely feel the carnelian’s hands on her because despite her training as a pearl rooting her feet to the ground she wanted to tear these gems apart, get past them and protect Yellow, poof them, shatter them, _destroy them_.

Then Yellow Diamond’s lightning was upon them.

Blue straightened her dress once the carnelian’s gem was all that was left behind her, and fought the urge to crush it beneath her heel, to stride over and do the same to the amethyst and the second carnelian that had left White trembling.

“Let this be a warning,” Yellow’s diamond said flatly. “The next gems to lay even a finger on a diamond’s pearl will be processed immediately. This ball is over.”

Ah, Blue thought with more venom than she’d ever felt in her existence. The diamonds’ property could not be _sullied_ , could it?

The intensity of her anger startled her out of the emotion, though, and she returned to the need, the worry for her friend and her love, Yellow’s twisted face the only thing present in her mind.

She needed to help her.

It was even easier to slip away to the tunnels than it had been in the immediate aftermath of White’s rejuvenation. They were silent, walking side by side, until they had gotten into their nook and Yellow’s nervous energy burst out, tears beginning to gather in her eyes, her fingers knotting and unknotting, her face the most open Blue had ever seen it. “Please, Blue,” she said, her words anguished. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

She was guilty, Blue realized. As if any of them would have been able to stop the quartzes, as if Yellow should have struggled more, as if she’d somehow betrayed Blue in being herself defiled. Blue’s anger returned.

“It—it’s only supposed to be you,” she continued, “I—Take me. I need—I need your hands, not theirs, I need it to be you, I need—”

“Shh,” Blue said gently, and placed her hands on Yellow’s shoulder and waist, tilted her head with the slightest pressure, kissed her and put all the love and unnecessary forgiveness into it that she could. Couldn’t Yellow see that there was nothing to forgive? “Anything for my Yellow,” she said when she’d pulled back. She rubbed a thumb over the dark gold bruise on Yellow’s cheek, then slipped the hand on her jaw down, let it brush her body to comfort her, to chase away the feeling of thick arms, and pushed aside her leotard, slipping two fingers inside her and relishing the way Yellow trembled against her. “That’s it,” Blue murmured. “I’m here. I’m here.”

Yellow tucked her face into Blue’s shoulder and wept.

* * *

When the rebellion on Earth began—the so-called Crystal Gems—Blue and Yellow’s time together shrank until it was almost nonexistent. They developed new ways of greeting each other silently, flicked their fingers in waves so small their great diamonds would not notice, tilted their heads, smiled in tiny twitches of their lips.

Blue longed to ask White why her diamond fought for the strange planet, why Pink Diamond struggled to subdue these Crystal Gems—did she not truly wish to protect her colony?

And then Blue joined her diamond on a visit to Earth, and saw Rose Quartz and her Terrifying Renegade Pearl for the first time.

When the quartz and the pearl leapt down in front of Blue Diamond’s palanquin, for a moment all was chaos, as the chariot rose up and carried itself away. But then Blue could see the destruction these rebels wrought, she could see the rebels almost clearly, and—

“Stars above,” she breathed, but it was so quiet, so strangled, and her diamond was so caught up in the chaos before them, that Blue’s words were not overheard.

The Terrifying Renegade Pearl, this pearl that went against her making and her cut, this pearl that was a disgrace to Homeworld, a defect, a strange and twisted beast—

Was White.

Blue kept her shock in, kept the trembling in, kept the need to scream and cry and fear in, because _she_ was a proper pearl, _she_ served her diamond above all else, _she_ … She could see how White could do this. She still remembered the cycle, orbits before, now, when her rage had made her gem begin to glow faintly. Pearls were, she knew, capable of much more. Pearls were not nothing. They were not machines. They were as differed and special as each gem. This was the only thought Blue allowed herself to truly entertain that went against the wishes of the diamonds, against the strict laws of Homeworld. She never spoke them aloud, not even to Yellow. She would never endanger her love like that. But the existence of a fighting pearl had never quite shocked her as it had “real” gems. She didn’t think it shocked any pearl.

But the fact that it was _White_?

Blue Diamond sent her away upon their return to Homeworld, and Blue crept to their nook, hoping, hoping, hoping that Yellow would find a way to escape.

She did.

And when Blue set eyes on Yellow, her everything, her one remaining friend, her strict control broke, and she let out a sob, crumpling to her knees and covering her mouth with one hand and her gem with the other.

Yellow fell down beside her, her anxious hands everywhere, saying, “Blue, Blue, what happened? Blue! Speak to me!”

Blue laughed through her sobs, and gasped out, “It’s White, it’s White, it’s White. She’s White.”

“White?” Yellow’s voice was frantic now, her face pale when she lifted Blue to meet her eyes. “What’s wrong? Is she—”

“She’s the pearl,” Blue said, tucking her body into Yellow’s, burying her face into her skin, trembling like her body had been begging to do since she’d seen her friend, her sister, cutting down gem after gem, since she’d seen that strange fusion. “She’s the pearl.”

“The pearl?” Yellow was impatient, afraid, confused. “Blue you’re not making any sense.”

She pulled away for just a moment, to gaze into her love’s face. “The Terrifying Renegade Pearl,” she whispered. “It’s White.”

And the moment she saw the recognition and realization crash down on Yellow’s face, Blue hid her own again, shaking with tears and fear and confusion.

Why would White do this? Why betray her diamond, whom she loved even more than Yellow idolized hers? Even Blue, who served her diamond as master but did not truly care for her (she was a servant, a slave, why should she care for the one who held her chains? Another stolen thought), would never _betray_ Blue Diamond, would never take that risk only to be squashed by the full might of the Diamond Authority. Because this rebellion would be crushed, and if White did not take care to hide her involvement, she would be too.

Once they’d calmed, she and Yellow shared their fears, talked and comforted one another for as long as they dared, and then returned reluctantly to their duties.

Hundreds of orbits passed, and the Crystal Gems, far from being captured and destroyed, only grew. The fusion joined their number, and then more and more, gems that were defective, gems that harbored secret thoughts like Blue’s but far more dangerous…and somehow, they were not defeated. They fused together into larger and larger beings, strange beasts that the fused jaspers and amethysts were no match for. The only advantage Homeworld had was their willingness to shatter while the Crystal Gems refused to do so.

Every time Pink Diamond returned to Homeworld, White came too. She was placid, more placid than she’d ever been, and Pink Diamond never seemed to distrust her. Blue strained to convey her knowledge with only the strength of her mind, for the three pearls were never given the chance to speak alone. Blue wanted to ask White what she’d been thinking, why this tiny, insignificant planet mattered more to her than her own life. She wanted to shake her, to reprimand her, to remind her of the diamonds’ immense power, the way it was impossible for this rebel group to survive, let alone win.

But Blue was left with only her thoughts, only her will trying to force itself silently onto White’s with, of course, no success.

And so she and Yellow met when they could, whispered together, worried together, sent thoughts to White and prayed she’d be safe because despite her betrayal of everything they were meant to believe in, she was still their sister.

But then Rose Quartz shattered Pink Diamond.

And everything began moving so fast.

Blue and Yellow were terrified that White had been acting as Pink Diamond’s pearl at the time, that she’d been shattered too—but then that didn’t matter anymore, because the three remaining diamonds were lifting their hands and singing an awful, tearing song, and the whole of Homeworld was enveloped in Blue Diamond’s aura and a great white light streamed from their hands and—

White was gone.

Even if she’d somehow survived Pink Diamond’s shattering…

She was gone.

In the chaos of the following cycles, Blue and Yellow were able to spend almost all of their time in their nook, curled together, crying together, mourning together. They were truly alone now, with only the washed out Pink as their companion. They hadonly each other.

Once the initial weight had become bearable (not lighter, never lighter; now White’s demise joined Pink’s in Blue’s gem), they whispered stories to each other, memories of White. They projected these memories when they could, of both of their fallen sisters, and wept more often than they laughed.

At first.

But as time went on, as the cycles passed and Blue was sent away almost all the time, as Blue Diamond’s section of the palace was constantly bathed in blue, their tears turned to laughter, and though the ache never left, they managed to survive.

The diamonds did as well, though perhaps not as well as their pearls.

This was yet another silent thought of Blue’s, as she watched Yellow Diamond come striding down the halls, Yellow stumbling at her feet, near blinded by tears. “Wait here, Pearl,” the diamond said, and then entered Blue Diamond’s chamber without another glance at the two tiny gems.

“I don’t know how you stand it,” Yellow grumbled, wiping moisture from her eyes.

“Mm,” Blue hummed, smiling at this gem, this wonder, this beauty. “Practice, I suppose.”

Yellow snorted, but moved just a touch closer, enough for their shoulders to brush.

After that, their time together exploded, because it sometimes seemed that half the time Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond were together they sent their pearls away. Blue was not unintelligent, or oblivious. She knew what they did behind closed doors, knew that it was the same as what she and Yellow did in their nook. She didn’t particularly care, other than being grateful that she had more time to speak quietly with Yellow without fear of being interrupted or found out—the diamonds wouldn’t be able to hear them through the door and their own sounds.

But Blue was also observant. She knew, from personal experience, that when she left the nook both she and Yellow wore smiles and faint blushes, she knew that her own gem burned warm, she knew that she carried that happiness and comfort and closeness with her love for as long as she could hold it. Yellow Diamond, though?

Every time she left Blue’s Diamond’s chambers, her lips were tight, though she was not frowning. Her fingers twitched sometimes, like she wished to do something with them, like she fought the urge to fidget—diamonds never fidgeted.

It was very strange.

Blue asked Yellow, one cycle two hundred and fifty three orbits after the beginning of Era 2, about this strangeness of her diamond. Yellow frowned. “My diamond seems to work harder after these sessions,” she said. “Yes. She doesn’t seem…the same as us. Though of course,” she added quickly, “our diamonds are better than us in every way; we cannot even be compared to their radiance.”

Blue nodded solemnly.

She wasn’t sure if she still agreed.

“She does seem…downtrodden,” Yellow said quietly.

Blue hummed, then mentally shrugged. Why care she what their diamonds did behind closed doors, whether it made them smile or cry? She was _only a pearl_.

And so orbits passed, orbits when Blue and Yellow talked outside Blue Diamond’s door, slipped away and enjoyed each other in their nook, loved each other, lived for each other, wondered in each other. And Blue, despite the heaviness in her gem and the mild resentment she hid towards the diamonds and Homeworld’s entire system of hierarchy, decided she wouldn’t mind living out the rest of her existence like this, with her love, serving her diamond, every cycle the same.

And then news came that there were still Crystal Gems on planet Earth, and everything was turned upside down yet again.

* * *

Blue was, of course, not involved in the missions to Earth. She and Yellow spoke, held onto some fragile strand of hope…but their diamonds said nothing about The Terrifying Renegade Pearl. Yellow told Blue that a peridot that had been sent to Earth to check on her diamond’s project, the Cluster, had joined the Crystal Gems, as had the lapis lazuli that originally brought news of their frustratingly continued existence. “My diamond is furious,” Yellow said, coiling a lock of Blue’s hair around one of her fingers. “But she says nothing of the other gems.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s—” Blue stopped, took an unnecessary breath. She knew her voice was desperate. She knew her hope was desperate. “It doesn’t mean she’s not there.”

Yellow shrugged.

Cycles passed.

A strange, half-organic gem that claimed to be _the_ Rose Quartz was brought in front of their diamonds. Though the diamonds blamed it for the death of Pink Diamond, it seemed almost confused, unable to answer their questions, and Blue was skeptical that it was truly the great warrior. She herself had seen Rose Quartz. Why would the leader of the rebellion take such a fragile form?

But then Rose Quartz escaped, and Blue and Yellow were nearly forgotten in their diamonds’ preparations to go to earth. They were left alone for three cycles, able to be with each other, to lose themselves in each other, to distract themselves with each other. Blue lost count of the number of times Yellow brought her to her peak, the number of kisses they shared, the number of words they swallowed. “I love you,” Blue said, speaking it out loud for the very first time. All around them was chaos, all around them was fear and a strange world that felt like it was on the brink of some great change. Blue wanted Yellow to know, _needed_ Yellow to know, that her love would be there through it all.

Yellow flushed gold, nestled closer and hid her face. “I love you too,” she mumbled, in that sharper voice she used when she was embarrassed.

Blue smiled. She took Yellow’s vulnerability, her trust, and cradled it close.

Then their diamonds returned, with the strange half-organic and the stranger news that Rose Quartz had been Pink Diamond all along, that the great being had never been shattered but had merely created a character to rebel against herself.

Blue could barely care about that, though, because when her diamond sent her to fetch Pink Diamond, she stutter-stepped for the first time in hundreds of orbits, almost stopped dead where she was despite her orders.

Because, standing outside of Yellow Diamond’s extraction chambers as Yellow and her diamond left, Yellow unable to stop her head from turning to stare back—

Was White.

Her hands were clasped in front of her, her hair was shorter, her manifested garment had none of the flounce most pearls wore…

But it was White.

Blue knew she had her orders, knew she was supposed to ask Pink Diamond to join her diamond, knew all that and more, but as soon as Yellow and her diamond were out of sight she couldn’t keep herself from taking the last few steps towards White quickly, and then stopping. She wanted to reach out, to embrace her, to berate her, to cry.

She said nothing.

“I know what you’re thinking,” White said.

She couldn’t say anything. It had been so long.

“You’re wondering why I never told you, why I never reached out.” White twisted her fingers in front of her, biting a lip. “Well, it was—”

“Too dangerous,” Blue finished for her. “We thought you were gone.”

White frowned. “Well, even if the diamonds’ blast had hit us, we wouldn’t be _gone_. That’s why we’re here now. The gems—all the gems left on Earth—are still alive, but corrupted.”

“Corrupted?” Blue asked, then shook herself. “White—I—my diamond has…”

White sighed. “Let’s fetch him. We can…talk while Steven’s with Blue Diamond?”

Blue nodded, wondering if “steven” was a strange Earth title for a diamond, and they went to the door.

The next cycles were a blur.

There was the preparation for the ball—the first ball in thousands of orbits. There was the ball itself, Pink Diamond’s organic fusion, Yellow Diamond’s rage, and then Blue and Yellow were left forgotten as their diamonds dealt with the aftermath of the chaos. They hid in the tunnels with hundreds of other pearls as their world shook around them, they clung to each other, they feared for their sister—

Blue remembered a lifetime ago, one of their last moments together, all four of them, Pink herself, White before her rejuvenation. They had been outside a great meeting room, standing quietly, waiting for their diamonds to call them, and Pink had been nearly vibrating.

White indulged her. “Do you have something to tell us, Pink?”

“Oh!” Pink said, as if surprised they’d noticed. Yellow snorted, and Blue cast a look at her love, unable to hide her fond smile at all their antics. “It’s nothing, truly.”

Yellow heaved an exaggerated sigh. “It’s clearly something, if it’s caused you to act in such an unseemly way.”

Pink giggled; she knew Yellow’s disdain for its falsity. “My diamond has given me a gift,” she said.

“Oh?” Blue said in response, speaking for the first time.

“Yes,” Pink said, almost bouncing on her toes in her excitement. “May I show it to you?”

The other three pearls exchanged a look. “We’ve time before their meeting ends,” White said.

“Hmm,” Yellow hummed disapprovingly, but sighed.

“Show us,” Blue said.

Pink’s gem glowed, and she held her hands before it, her smile never leaving her face as she drew out a hand ribbon similar to the ones lapides lazuli would use when they left their terraforming duties to perform for their diamonds. It was a soft pink, and she twirled it carefully.

Blue raised her eyebrows beneath her bangs. Pink’s diamond was strange indeed, though she’d never say it aloud.

“Your diamond gave you _that_?” Yellow asked, as startled as Blue.

“It’s a beautiful gift,” White said quickly.

“It is,” Blue said.

“I never said it wasn’t,” Yellow said. “I was merely surprised.”

“I wish I could show you more,” Pink said regretfully. “But…”

They all nodded. They were pearls in an open hallway. It would be far too risky. “Another time,” Blue suggested, and Pink smiled.

They never had that chance.

But then the world stopped shaking, and the diamonds spoke, and then they were gone with White and Pink Diamond—Steven. And Pink was left standing, confused, staring at a world that had changed, that no longer held her beloved diamond as she had known her, and Blue clung to her and wept her own tears, and Yellow encased them both, and Blue cried for their past and their future, for the orbits they’d all lost, for _herself_.

Cycles passed—gems argued. The story spread, slowly, of what the boy Steven had done, what he was capable of. And when it had sunk in—when Blue understood, finally, that they were free—she seized Yellow by the waist and lifted her, laughing, spinning her, embracing her. “Blue!” Yellow yelped, but then it seemed to sink in for her as well, because she joined Blue in her laughter, and then she too seized Blue, by the face, and kissed her.

“I love you,” Blue mumbled against her love’s lips.

Yellow tugged a lock of her hair gently.

It was enough of an answer for Blue.


End file.
